Sunday Up Late - Getting Candid: The Brick Wall....
Hello Internet 💜
I am so sorry for leaving this week's blog post until the very last minute (11 45 on a Sunday night 😐), but it's been an interesting week for me and I needed some 'me' time to process things.
First things first, it's official - I am finished with exams and university for Semester 1! 🎉
This semester was crazy, intense and totally awesome but I am definitely looking forward to some serous relaxation/couch time. With that being said, I do have a bunch of free time for the next 4 weeks. This means double blog updates y'all! 😆 Yes, you read it right - I am going to be uploading new posts on here TWICE a week until uni starts again at the end of July 😀😀😀.
But for tonight's blog post, it's going to be short and slightly philosophical. I'm riding the train of self-reflection right now, and there are some things I feel like I need to say. I hope you don't mind 💖
Here we go....
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You might be wondering why I am starting this off with a photo of a brick wall. Although it might seem slightly crazy, it is actually the inspiration for how I want to talk about where I am at right now.
The wall itself doesn't look like this in real life. During editing, I added a black and white filter and messed with the contrast and texture modes to really bring out the edges and lines in the brickwork.
When I look at this photo of my brick wall now, it has dimensions. It has layers. It has character.
When I look at this photo of my brick wall, it looks to me like a wonderful metaphor for life. I'll come back to this in a second....
If you are one of my regular readers, you will recall that I talked about discovering and beginning to deal with some profound emotional stuff in my previous 'Getting Candid' post. I am still trying to come to terms with those feelings, and it's a process that has been especially difficult this week.
When you are trying to walk away from places that you know are bad for you, for some reason your brain just wants to keep going back. It's really tough when you are fighting your mind for control, and it only gets harder when you feel like you are fighting that battle alone.
It's my choice to do this on my own, which means I can't complain. But that doesn't mean I'm immune to having days where I don't feel strong enough. I fall back into the same old patterns and the feelings I desperately want to leave behind come back for an unwanted visit.
The changes that I am going through in my mind right now are complicated. Just like overcoming any kind of major obstacle in life, I am going to have good days and bad days.
I see those ups and downs like the bricks on the wall. White bricks for good days - positive moments where you feel confident in yourself and your choices. Black bricks for bad days - tough times where negative thoughts run riot.
Then there are those days in between - the textured bricks on the wall. Dappled with various degrees of black and white or good and bad feelings, these times are often confusing but they're necessary if anything is ever going to change.
When you put all of those colours and textures together, what comes out is a beautifully layered brick wall. I think it is very similar to what happens when we eventually put all the good and the bad moments together. What comes out is a beautiful rollercoaster of emotions where you learn so much about yourself, what you're worth and ultimately how you are strong enough to tackle any challenge and win.
Obviously I am still trying to get to this point of strength, but I definitely won't stop trying to make the changes that need to be made to choose a different and more fulfilling path.
It's an uphill battle, and there will be more black brick days in my future. But I have to push through to find the triumph, the good feelings, the white bricks.
Whatever you are going through some tough mental times like me or something more serious, always remember to never give up. The road might be a struggle, but pressure makes diamonds right? 😉
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I hope you found that interesting and/or helpful. But if you didn't, then that's OK too. Please share and recommend to friends if you feel so inclined 💗
Question of the Night: Do you have a particular object that somehow represents a certain aspect of your life? Leave me your answers in the comments, and be sure to follow me on Instagram (@miss_memphis98) to keep up with everything I do on here.
It's been a truly complicated week with lots of thoughts, and I felt like I had to try and sort them all out. I am not sure whether this actually helped, but I certainly feel better. So thank-you for bearing with me 💚
Thanks for reading, I really appreciate it,
Love and weird metaphors for life, Emily xx ★☆★☆★
I am so sorry for leaving this week's blog post until the very last minute (11 45 on a Sunday night 😐), but it's been an interesting week for me and I needed some 'me' time to process things.
First things first, it's official - I am finished with exams and university for Semester 1! 🎉
This semester was crazy, intense and totally awesome but I am definitely looking forward to some serous relaxation/couch time. With that being said, I do have a bunch of free time for the next 4 weeks. This means double blog updates y'all! 😆 Yes, you read it right - I am going to be uploading new posts on here TWICE a week until uni starts again at the end of July 😀😀😀.
But for tonight's blog post, it's going to be short and slightly philosophical. I'm riding the train of self-reflection right now, and there are some things I feel like I need to say. I hope you don't mind 💖
Here we go....
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
You might be wondering why I am starting this off with a photo of a brick wall. Although it might seem slightly crazy, it is actually the inspiration for how I want to talk about where I am at right now.
The wall itself doesn't look like this in real life. During editing, I added a black and white filter and messed with the contrast and texture modes to really bring out the edges and lines in the brickwork.
When I look at this photo of my brick wall now, it has dimensions. It has layers. It has character.
When I look at this photo of my brick wall, it looks to me like a wonderful metaphor for life. I'll come back to this in a second....
If you are one of my regular readers, you will recall that I talked about discovering and beginning to deal with some profound emotional stuff in my previous 'Getting Candid' post. I am still trying to come to terms with those feelings, and it's a process that has been especially difficult this week.
When you are trying to walk away from places that you know are bad for you, for some reason your brain just wants to keep going back. It's really tough when you are fighting your mind for control, and it only gets harder when you feel like you are fighting that battle alone.
It's my choice to do this on my own, which means I can't complain. But that doesn't mean I'm immune to having days where I don't feel strong enough. I fall back into the same old patterns and the feelings I desperately want to leave behind come back for an unwanted visit.
The changes that I am going through in my mind right now are complicated. Just like overcoming any kind of major obstacle in life, I am going to have good days and bad days.
I see those ups and downs like the bricks on the wall. White bricks for good days - positive moments where you feel confident in yourself and your choices. Black bricks for bad days - tough times where negative thoughts run riot.
Then there are those days in between - the textured bricks on the wall. Dappled with various degrees of black and white or good and bad feelings, these times are often confusing but they're necessary if anything is ever going to change.
When you put all of those colours and textures together, what comes out is a beautifully layered brick wall. I think it is very similar to what happens when we eventually put all the good and the bad moments together. What comes out is a beautiful rollercoaster of emotions where you learn so much about yourself, what you're worth and ultimately how you are strong enough to tackle any challenge and win.
Obviously I am still trying to get to this point of strength, but I definitely won't stop trying to make the changes that need to be made to choose a different and more fulfilling path.
It's an uphill battle, and there will be more black brick days in my future. But I have to push through to find the triumph, the good feelings, the white bricks.
Whatever you are going through some tough mental times like me or something more serious, always remember to never give up. The road might be a struggle, but pressure makes diamonds right? 😉
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I hope you found that interesting and/or helpful. But if you didn't, then that's OK too. Please share and recommend to friends if you feel so inclined 💗
Question of the Night: Do you have a particular object that somehow represents a certain aspect of your life? Leave me your answers in the comments, and be sure to follow me on Instagram (@miss_memphis98) to keep up with everything I do on here.
It's been a truly complicated week with lots of thoughts, and I felt like I had to try and sort them all out. I am not sure whether this actually helped, but I certainly feel better. So thank-you for bearing with me 💚
Thanks for reading, I really appreciate it,
Love and weird metaphors for life, Emily xx ★☆★☆★
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